BDSM: It’s Not What You Think! confronts stigma and stereotypes surrounding kink and fetish play through leading voices within the BDSM (Bondage/Discipline/Sado-Masochism) community. With intimate interviews and playful vignettes this film targets progressive outsiders and guides them through the minefield of misconceptions and prejudice that kinksters routinely face.
Divided into four chapters, the film begins with a humorous journey through the arcane universe of kink jargon. Playfully demystifying this unique lingo, the film builds a foundation from which the viewer can explore the broader issues related to kink enthusiasts and the SM community. In the following three chapters the film addresses common misconceptions; offers viewers intimate and personal perspectives from community members on what draws them to the world of BDSM; and tackles the inevitable dangers that many practitioners are faced with and the numerous community-based resources for addressing them.
The film opens with a teaser that suggests that while mainstream media’s representations of BDSM sexuality often focus tightly on the most sensational aspects of the kink and fetish world, a deeper look reveals a broader context of the lives of kink aficionados.
The primary focus in the film “BDSM: It’s Not What You Think!” is clear – to address and thus dispel common misconceptions that surround the kink community. As the conversation continues insightful community advocates take a deep breath and begin the list. “There are so many misconceptions that outsiders have, that you could practically write a book about them!” exclaims Lord Falcon with a smile on his face. Some of the misconceptions addressed are expected. Others are quite the opposite. As each misconception is exposed words follow that provide viewers with a new perspective on the diversity, sensitivity, and, well, normalcy of BDSM play and the personalities of the people who are drawn to it.
But, what every outsider really wants to know is “Why do you like it?” The film tackles that question head on. Author and SM lecturer Janet Hardy discusses the “endorphin high” that kink enthusiasts often experience in their BDSM play, likening the experience to that of those engaging in intense sports.
“Some people actually run marathons I’m told, but I don’t understand it myself, seems like an awful lot of work just to get high of off.” she notes a tinge of irony.
Hardy and other impassioned community members offer up a rare gift to the audience in sharing their raw, honest, and intimate explanations of what draws them to the practice. Touching on endorphins, spirituality, personal connections, pleasure and sensation the viewer can relate to many of these longings and the message becomes clear that often the sensations that BDSM players seek, for others, can be found in extreme sports, meditation, Tantra, or any number of other activities.
Now that we know what BDSM is, what it isn’t, and what draws people to it, the film takes a hard look at the realities of the dangers that some BDSM practitioners are faced with. Perhaps one of the most common misconceptions about BDSM, and one that is heavily dramatized and scrutinized in the main stream media’s representation of BDSM, is that it is always a dangerous, and sometimes life threatening, practice with no oversight.
Participants speak straightforwardly about potential dangers in kink play, and how to address them in a “Safe Sane and Consensual” way — a mantra of the BDSM community.
The exhaustive negotiations and extensive training that experienced BDSM players engage in might surprise the viewer but what may shock people most is found in the conclusion of the film in which the community members, who we have come to know and embrace, speak to the enormity of the greater community of which they are apart.
Players featured in the film note that the BDSM community offers much more than a haven from the oppression its members regularly face in their daily lives. The community also provides a socially responsible center for safe BDSM practice and for the promotion off safety through a multiplicity of classes, discussion groups and outreach. But, for many in the scene it is more than just a supportive community, it is a family.
Though the subject matter addressed in “BDSM: It’s Not What You Think!” can be challenging and frightening for some, the filmmakers made a conscious effort to open the doors of communication in non-threatening way to folks outside the BDSM community. After one of the test audience screenings, a surprised mother proclaimed “I would let my 12 year old daughter watch that!”
BDSM: It’s Not What You Think! is a fresh perspective on a misjudged and misrepresented community. It is a fun and insightful bridge to understanding that has brought praise and support from both veteran kinksters and others for whom the film is their first real exposure to SM sexuality.
Notable BDSM players featured include celebrated author and speaker Janet Hardy (The Ethical Slut, and Radical Ecstasy); San Francisco Leather Daddy’s Boy XXII Jorge Vieto; BDSM health educator and film star Robert Black; Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist and author Sybil Holiday; Educators Master Hines and Mrs. Hines; Community Educator Ms. Heart; Pod-casters Nova and Atticus; former officer for Society of Janus Lord Falcon; and Educator Domina Selina Raven.